Thursday, 18 June 2009

Agent Orange Reports: Ten Things Not Reported At The Meeting

I was not able to go to the meeting last night, but my intrepid spy Pepe Narajana was there and fed me these tidbits.

1. President Seigo Watanabe sang the Ike-Ike Omiya song three times. It was awkward for all concerned.

2. The guy who takes his shirt off at the games was there, without a shirt.

3. The team bus will have its very own blog. Some of the excerpts are to include, "Just drove the team to Iwata. I am a very tired bus," and, "Unlike Yosuke Kataoka, my emission output is environmentally responsible."

4. The hangup in signing Junichi Inamoto is whether or not he will play goalkeeper.

5. Along the same lines, the team confirmed that in the future they will be announcing that they are very disappointed that international player and Japan national teamer [insert name here] turned down a very generous offer to come play for Omiya.

6. The contract of coach Jang Wae Ryong will not be terminated. However, after every home loss he will explain his decision-making via the medium of interpretive dance, to the tune of Endless Love.

7. Chikara Fujimoto Adult Diaper Night will be held sometime in September.

8. The team is proposing a set of "differently-abled" mascots named O and Ja. The pair will be the first conjoined squirrel mascots in history. In a homage to the team and its relationship with the fans, the two will be connected at the heart.

9. Any child that manages to score in the Ardy pre-game PK challenge will be eligible to play at left back for the team.

10. Omiya Ardija will win the championship in 2011.

Stop laughing, Pepe!

*

2 comments:

Omiya Fan,  18 June 2009 at 22:18  

I believed the first two!

planck 20 June 2009 at 00:44  

The only one that I don't believe is the last one. That just can't be right.

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